What would happen if, when we plop down on the couch in the evening or lay down in bed at night, we were to ask ourselves these questions, “Who did God give me to love today?” and “How did I do?”
Recently, a friend challenged me to use these questions to examine my behavior on any given day. I find it helpful, though surprisingly difficult to do if I wait too late in the day when my brain is shutting down. I skim over the events of the day in my mind, and I can remember the moments that need some evaluation. This exercise highlights things I need to ask God’s forgiveness for, perhaps providing fodder for my next confession, and areas in which I might improve. My inner reflections might go something like this (purely fictitious) one:
“Okay…yeah, I woke up pretty grumpy and gave my husband only a half-hearted hug before leaving the house. (What if this had been his final day on earth? That would have been my last memory of him. What a horrible thought! He deserves better than that…)
Then there was the guy who was driving 20 miles an hour in front of me all the way down to town. I was totally justified in riding his tail, wasn’t I? (Gosh, maybe God was drawing my attention to him because he needed someone to pray for him. I forgot about my resolution to pray for people who annoy me…)
And how about my daughter’s volleyball coach? We trash-talked her over dinner! But honestly, she screams like a shrew and almost never smiles. (My approach would be so different!) But then again, she seems to care about the kids and works hard to help them reach their potential. The truth is, I should either “let it go” or do something constructive to make the situation better. It is unloving of me to talk about her so negatively.
And how about my son, later in the evening? When I scolded him and confiscated his phone was that just ‘tired mommy’ freaking out over nothing? No… I can honestly say I responded the way I did because I love him, and I want what is best for him. Thank you, God, that I managed to be calm and business-like instead of becoming demeaning and sarcastic…I know I can be that way sometimes…”
This kind of “examination of conscience” doesn’t take very long, but it helps us realize that our lives are made up of people. Every encounter with another person throughout the day is an opportunity. A chance to love as we have been loved, to show mercy, just as we have been shown mercy. So often we tell others to be “nice,” or “kind,” when what we should be saying to them and to ourselves is, “Did you love that person today with the love of God? Are you allowing God to fill you each day with his love, so that you are ready to meet the next person who comes into your path?”
God is calling each one of us to be holy and that means allowing him to “perfect us in love.” At the end of the day, it’s Love that lifts us up where we belong!
If you would like to learn more about what a five minute daily “examination of conscience” accomplishes with a step-by-step method for how to carry it out, check out this article from Fr. John Bartunek.